Men are smarter than women

I think it's official. Men must be smarter than women. I know there are women out there that must think I'm crazy, my wife included. But, think about this. Women are always complaining about the toilet seat. Leave it down, leave it down, leave it down. Why? Because they might have to run in and go right away and if we leave it up they might fall in.
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I'm going to let women in on a little secret. Don't try to stop me. Sometimes guys have to sit on the bowl too. But no matter how bad I have to go, I always check to make sure the seat is down. You see, I'm not dumb enough to fall in. I check first, and there have been times I'm lucky enough to get my pants off. But I still check first.
Or how bout this crap. "Something might fall in." OK. Something might. But I'm not leaving anything of value next to the bowl. Why would I? Can you name anything next to your bowl that's valuable? Why in God's name would you leave anything valuable in the bathroom. The most expensive thing in my bathroom is my electric razor, and I make sure that it's not hanging over the bowl. First of all it's ELECTRIC. Try and fish that out. Not happening. Second, again why is it there.
Or how about this one. The politness angle. It's polite for you to leave it down for her. OK. The selfish bitch wants me to leave it down. How about she leaves it up for me. Politely leave it up. Don't we as men deserve a little politeness directed towards us. I sure as hell think so.
Now, I know that some people don't agree with me. But I don't care. If I needed their opinion I would remove the duct tape.